After this past weekend, I can't stop thinking about a moment during Saturday night. Two of our regular customers were in, two girls that hang out all the time, flirting with all the help. They're well known by pretty much all our employees, and basically make it a point to spend almost all their time with one of us, trying to get us to dance, smile, etc. They're a lot of fun, and all of us like them. From time to time at their request I'll walk them to their car, hold their keys and phones throughout the night, and sometimes pretend to be their boyfriend to scare off "creepy guys" hitting on them. Basically, our bouncers-myself included-are something like a guard dog for them; they feel safer around us, but they forget why. It's because we're every bit the violent, intimidating assholes that other guys might be. They just know us.
Well, during the night I came across a situation inside between two customers. At the direction of the bartender, I chose which one needed to go, and began to guide him towards the door. He started with all the typical excuses: his friends were inside, he needed his credit card, he hadn't done anything, etc. I told him I didn't care, and he needed to go. By the time we reached the stairs, my patience with his whining had reached it's end. I gave him a good push out the door, and he grabbed my arm, trying to pull me to him. Being about twice his size I didn't move much, if at all. I grabbed his hand, pulled it off my arm, then followed him down the stairs quickly, loudly warning him not to lay a hand on me again. The two doormen quickly stepped in and said they'd take it from there. As I turned around, I saw both girls outside where they'd been talking to the door man, looking at me with the same look you might give a family pet who has just bitten someone, the "oh yea, you have teeth" look.
As a bouncer, you hear it a lot: "You're just a bouncer". First of all, I am NOT "just a bouncer". I'm also a father, friend, husband, accountant, history buff, writer...the list goes on. Nobody is "just" what they do for a living 18 hours a week. Secondly, you're right; I AM a bouncer. They didn't hire me because they hoped later on I would be able to physically control people. They didn't hire me because they hoped I'd develop into someone that could handle themselves, didn't scare easily, was in control of any space he's currently occupying, etc. They hired me because I already was all those things. People should remember that when dealing with bouncers.
No matter how friendly we appear to be, no matter how much we smile, or offer to assist you, or whatever it may be, we're hired there for a reason. We're hired there because when the shit hits the fan, the bar wants the biggest, toughest assholes inside it on the bar's side. Fighting fire with fire, and hoping the bar stocks the hottest fire in the place, bars find guys that stand out, don't fit in, can control the herds of people. Bouncers aren't the shepherds of life-those would be managers and other leaders. Bouncers are more like mostly domestic (some more than others) wolf-like dogs, trained to help the shepherd herd the sheep. While we may appear friendly, it's wise to remember we ARE wolves, and not be shocked when we accidentally eat a sheep who has stepped out of line.
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